At the end of last year I got the news that I got a job in my favourite ever stationery store. It’s only part time but it’s something that I truly enjoy, I am passionate about but also keeps me sane. You see I was a stay at home mum for over 2 years. Going from a stay at home mum to a working mum has been quite the transition. I want to share with you all what I experienced and how it affected myself and my family.
As said earlier I was a stay at home mum as said earlier for over two years. I was made redundant during my pregnancy and in honesty we would’ve been no better off if I worked full time. You see nursery is an expensive cost. You have to think about the hours you work, travel to work and it’s no cheaper getting a childminder nowadays. So we knocked it on the head.
Being a stay at home mum affected my mental health. I became very anxious and insecure. And being a mum full time 24 hours a day 7 days a week got to me. I mean it in the sense that I didn’t have a minute alone. There was never a break. During that time I lost a lot of my friends because I couldn’t afford the things I used to and they didn’t really understand why I didn’t go to work. We would’ve been no richer and it would mean that I would just not see my baby grow. It sounds selfish but it’s the way things were. So I would put constant pressure on myself to become this almost perfect 50’s housewife. Having everything in the house done with a toddler who was demanding and making sure I was giving her everything. That when I had a moment that wasn’t cleaning or doing other chores, I was doing arts and crafts and activities.
So in all honesty I started to develop social anxiety. I visited an old work place to drop something off and left trembling and unable to properly speak and felt like my heart was going to burst. It’s when I realised that I knew things had got to me too much. And it was mainly because I put that much pressure on myself to be the perfect mum.
Taking my daughter to nursery.
Imogen started nursery a little late as we were unsure which one we thought would be best for her. The one she’s now at has brought her on so much socially and creatively and her speech. It’s been incredible to see that growth. However in the beginning I was so anxious because I hadn’t ever left her. And it took a long time and still does some days because she has the exact same attachment. It wasn’t easy and it’s been almost 3 months since her first day. So if you’re reading this because you’ve come to this stage where you have to put a child in nursery, it’s normal. Just be reassured and speak to the staff and make them aware. I did that and they were incredible with Imogen and myself.
Starting my new job.
Previously to starting my job I had actually been looking for almost 10 months to find something to suit my little family. It’s not easy. Trying to find something new and something you’re excited about. But at the same time worrying about hours and money and everything else. It’s stressful but now I’m in a place that I really love to work at, enjoy and have the best team. I’ve been there for a little over two months now and it’s fun and I couldn’t ask for better.
The adjustment to not seeing Imogen as much as I used to was hard. Feeling guilty constanty on the long days where I don’t see her at all. Or the days my shift starts as she’s finishing nursery. However I know that it could be worse and that I could see her less if I worked somewhere else. That’s what get’s me through it all.
Onwards and upwards.
So I just wanted to say. It’s not been easy. I don’t think it is for any parent. We’ve done well as a family transitioning and I know now that I get to spoil my daughter the way I really want to. As well as feeling less anxious by sitting at home everyday. It’s really helped my social anxiety by actually being face on with it.