27 different signs you live with a toddler

signs you live with a toddler

You can’t remember what a lie in is.

All you hear is ‘mummy mummy mummy’ even when you’re not wanted.

You’ve tripped over at least a toy a day.

There has been the pens/crayons/smearing random crap all over the walls moment.

They’ve cried over something so tiny such as having a wee.

You’ve planned a dream holiday abroad alone.

In your handbag there’s probably a pack of wipes, a dummy and random leafs they gift you.

The last meal you ate was shared, even though they probably had the exact same.

Probably one of your favourite things have been destroyed. Aka your favourite highlighter or plant.

Baby shark do do do do do do…

There is one animated tv character that you would love anything to be able to slap.

You’re not afraid of sniffing a bum in public, or asking if they’ve had a poo or a wee. No shame.

Bedtime’s are one of the most draining times of day.

Your partner telling you they’re going on a night out and you’re pissed off. You want to escape for the night.

You’ve hid all the chocolate in the house and only opening it in secret. Around midnight when they can’t hear.

Praying and thanking everything when your child sits still for 5 minutes.

Going to the toilet alone is a myth.

Leaving the house takes an extra half an hour at least. That’s if you’re warned 4 days before that you need to leave.

No matter how Pinterest worthy you want to keep the toys and play area, we all dump all the crap in there at the end of the night.

If they’re attached to a single comforter you understand the anxiety if you ever lose it.

Feeling like your baby is too grown up and that they’ll be a teenager tomorrow.

It might have took you 4 hours to clean the house but don’t worry it’s trashed within 5 minutes.

You know more nursery rhymes than modern music.

Instagram has made you feel a bit of a shit mum at times, but you realise not everything is Pinterest Perfect.

You pray that everytime you take your kid shopping that they don’t throw a strop in the middle of the aisles.

Also you’ve probably bribed them. Have a biscuit so I can just have a minute’s peace. PLEASE I BEG YOU.

The word No is probably your most hated word on the planet.


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